As we head into January, the month when many people first file for divorce after the holidays, let’s focus for a moment on the children. Colorado Collaborative Divorce Professionals recognizes that January is National Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month.
How Conflict Impacts Your Children
Children who are put in the middle of the conflict during divorce can experience academic difficulties, emotional upheaval, cognitive impairment and social conflicts that may color their lives and relationships well into adulthood. While most parents would agree that their children’s well-being is the most important thing, people often lose sight of this fact during divorce or are unaware of how their actions may be interpreted or internalized by their children.
As a divorce attorney, I am often faced with cases where the parents are involving their children in their divorce conflict, whether intentionally or otherwise, and as a result they are putting their children’s mental and physical well-being at risk during a break-up. Parents who are able to set aside their anger and remain child-focused during their divorce, emphasizing their children’s best interests, reassuring children that they are not to blame, refusing to put children in the middle, and permitting children the ability to openly love both parents through and after divorce, are likely to see children who fare far better through the divorce process than parents who focus on “winning” or “beating” the other side.
A Way to Work Through Difficult Decisions
One option for ensuring that your divorce is child-centered is to explore Collaborative Divorce as a peaceful alternative to a litigated solution. In a Collaborative Divorce, the goal is to provide parents with a process where they can come to agreements together with the assistance of a Collaboratively-trained team of attorneys, a neutral facilitator, and appropriate financial and mental health experts while protecting the children from conflict. Parents who participate in Collaborative Divorce will have greater control over their outcomes than they would if they were to bring their issues in front of a judge.
In addition, parents who are able to come to agreements together outside of court are more likely to be able to co-parent children in the future. Respectful co-parenting during and after divorce is one way to ensure that your children are shielded from the destructive forces that can be unleashed in the divorce process.
Kristi Anderson Wells https://wellsfamilylawcolorado.com
